Every once in awhile, some dickwad (Harmony Korine, ahem) will make a movie or some crap and a group of bigger dickwads (his fans, ahem) will latch onto his work as if it were the Mona Lisa of the cimenatic world. And then this dickwad (still Harmony Korine, ahem) will think he can get away with taking a shit and calling it a movie (Gummo, ahem) and those bigger dickwads will praise his efforts as the indie film vision of a lifetime. Such has happened here.

Now, many of you have probably never heard of Gummo and you may never have the misfortune of seeing it. But if you are asked by one of your "friends" to watch this shit on film, then you will know what to do when confronted with this situation.

Gummo is the tale of what goes on in Assfuck, Mississippi or some crap after a tornado or something hits the town. First we have the title character, Gummo. Gummo is the biggest fucking tard you've ever seen on film or tv. Even more so than Leonardo DeCrapio in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" and that Corky kid from Life Goes On would be if you ground them up in a meat grinder and moulded one giant retard out of them. This is a dirty little kid that bathes in murky bath water while eating - and managing to drop food into his tub. Oh - and he fishes it out and eats it too. Then there's his friend who is about 4 or 5 years older than him. I imagine that they are friends because he's the only person in town sick enough to molest the retarded Gummo behind the run-down diner or where-ever the fuck it is they go to all the time.

Other characters include: The skinny fucktard that wears bunny ears through-out the film and the two little hick redneck retards that beat him up with their plastic guns. There's a gay guy in there too that Gummo and Co. harrass, I think. Then there are these two chicks. So there you have it: Harmony Korine's excuse for characters (who he proudly claimed were all cast in one day at the local redneck Burger King.)

Next, I will move on to the plot....................Ok. That about covers that.

Looking back upon my Gummo-watching experience, I can confidently say that the hand that guides "film maker" Harmony Korine could only be the hand of Satan, himself. I will admit, however, that there was one moderately enjoyable, if not amusing part of the movie - when Redneck Chick #1 and Redneck Chick #2 were trying to make their nipples bigger by applying electrical tape and tearing it off. This is pure genious. 1 gunblade.

-Harmony is a girl's name,
ES