Metropolis is the dirtiest piece of shit I've seen in quite some time. From the opening credits to about 30 minutes later when I turned the poor excuse for a movie off, I was nearly in tears at the horrible plot that was unfolding before my eyes. The reason I'm writing this review is because another Apathian has put up a review of this movie telling you (for some god awful reason) that it is actually a good movie. Think of this as a counter-arguement. I'll start of with a quote from him:

"I read a lot of reviews talking about how Metropolis is a beautiful, wonderful, film, ingenious in it's visuals and plotlines, and I've read others that say it's just pretty garbage punctuated by random violence. So which is right? Other than the garbage part, they're both right."

Wow. He is exactly right. Except he's not. Just that fact that the opposing views of the movie he cited both called the movie 'beautiful' or 'pretty' make me want to shove spoons through the eyes of everyone who says so because they are not fit to judge artistic styles on any level and are probably the same tards that make the new Zelda's powerpuff-inspired style popular. So, let's start with that: The Art. It sucks. It sucks so much that I can't even find the words to explain it. No... there are no words dirty enough to explain how horribly wretched the art in this movie is. Just look at the pictures to the right.

Next we have the plot. These people live in a city... and there are robots... and OH NO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THE ROBOTS ARE TAKING OUR JOBS! This plot device, of course, has never been used in a movie ever. I'd also like to note the WE ARE ALL REGULATED TO THE STATIONS WE ARE BORN TO IN LIFE AND IT SUCKS plot device because it is also a new one and you have probably never heard of it. And then there's Uncle Pennybags (Monopoly), the pedo-detective and his side-kick, Big Boy. They meet Naked Little Girl and decide to help her out and then Angsty Teen With Guns gets mad at his dad because "Whine - You don't pay enough attention to me, dad! - Whine!" and starts blowing stuff up. Then some other stuff happens and then you turn it off. The End.

Now, I tend to watch things to the end, even if they are not that good, but I'll be damned if I'm going to waste my time on some inane drivel that tries to pass itself off as art house goo. At least I didn't buy it - some tard (who, gained two levels in Tard for even recommending it to me in the first place) loaned it to me and Kindred. Don't waste your time with this crap. Go watch Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust or Darkside Blues, instead. In closing - suck my cock, you stupid fucking movie. 1 Gunblade for the worst anime ever.

-Your basher of all things Metropolis,
ES

You can find EEE's review of Metropolis here at TwoBlock.