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.1RL See IRL (from low TV ratings) [chitwncartfreak].
1-28-04 date of bankruptcy hearing in which OWRS acquired CART assets to continue Champ Car World Series.
25/8 rule which reserved 25 Indy 497.5 slots for EARL teams.
A
aluminum what a significant percentage of fans in attendance at EARL races are made of.
attenuator crushable structure added to the series-mandated uncrushable transaxle of EARL cars after drivers were
permanently disabled by rear impacts.
B
broadcast partner ABC TV, who bowed to FTG's requirement of airing all EARL races for rights to broadcast Indy 497.5;
subsequently stopped airing CART races.
C
CART Championship Auto Racing Teams.
Champ Car name of current American open-wheel race cars, descended from Champ Cars / Indy Cars of the past (pre-EARL)
[image].
cheese grater chain-link fencing surrounding race track, designed to catch airborne race cars; airborne
crapwagons are often shredded like cheese when hitting it. [image]
chevworth derisive nickname for Chevy EARL 'Gen-4' engine, a re-badged Ford Cosworth.
coefficient of friction value between 1 and 0 used to calculate the force of friction between two bodies; argument used by EARL that crapwagons do not have
a dangerous tendency to become airborne for no apparent reason.
crappie hard-core Champ Car fan; frequenter / member of crapwagon.com.
crapwagon derisive nickname for EARL 'race' cars bestowed by Champ Car drivers and fans due to their unique appearance
and driving qualities [image].
D
Danica 500 nickname for 2005 Indy 497.5, which featured the highest Indy 497.5 finish by a female race car driver, the overhyped Danica Patrick.
Danicamania overpromotion of a female race car driver, regardless of actual racing skills or accomplishments, based only on gender and solely for the purpose
of hyping the EARL.
debris reason for many EARL caution/yellow flags; often imaginary.
DNF Did Not Finish; a driver/car that starts a race but does not complete it.
DNS Did Not Start; a driver/car that does not start a race.
E
EARL phonetic pronounciation of IRL, which see.
F
F fuck; often prefixed to names of gomers and traitors.
FHonda Fuck Honda (pronounced fonda); former CART engine supplier, now in EARL.
fighter planes in a gymnasium descriptive of EARL racing.
fonda see FHonda.
forkalozzi to deflect an opponents tactics back on them; from Forsythe, Kalkoven, Gentilozzi;
inspired by OWRS' decision to honor free tickets for the 2004 IRL Pike's Peak race at the 2004 Denver CCWS race;
first online
appearance; usage "we forkalozzied them," "forkalozzi you," "stick a forkalozzi in them." [paper]
Formula Cheese Grater derisive nickname for EARL; see also cheese grater.
Formula Necksnap derisive nickname for EARL due to number of driver injuries.
FTG Fuck Tony George (Anton Hulman George), inheritor of Indy Motor Speedway and founder of Indy Racing League.
FToyota Fuck Toyota; often shortened to yoda or yoder; former CART engine supplier, now in EARL.
G
gen-ford derisive nickname for Chevy EARL 'Gen-4' engine, a re-badged Ford Cosworth.
grater see cheese grater.
gomer derisive nickname for EARL fan, especially a native of Indiana or any die-hard EARL fan; from Gomer Pyle
actor Jim Nabors, who sings 'Back Home Again in Indiana' at the Indy 497.5.
gomerbilly gomer hillbilly.
H
HoMoCo Honda Motor Co. (pronounced homo-co).
I
Indy 497.5 Indy 500, once the greatest spectacle in American racing, now a pale shadow of its previous glory thanks
to FTG's vision.
inside EARL spotter mating call.
IRL Indy Racing League; open-wheel racing series established by Tony George as an alternative to CART; also Indy / Idiot
Retirement League, Irrelevant Racing League, etc..
J
just a number according to FTG, the number of cars entered in the Indy 497.5 (traditionally 33).
K
Kool-Aid high-sugar fruit-flavored drink mix; laced with cyanide and used by cult leader Jim Jones and his
followers to commit mass suicied in 1978; to 'drink (someone's) Kool-Aid,' to be a Kool-Aid drinker, has acquired the
meaning of having been utterly deceived by someone to the point of destruction.
L
lemmings small rodents known for hurling themselves blindly en masse off precipices to their dooom; die-hard EARL
fans who blindly follow FTG's vision.
locusts Kevin Kalkhoven's description of the EARL, based on its history of consuming all available resources without
results, then moving on.
M
N
O
OWRS Open Wheel Racing Series; name of group that acquired CART assets to continue Champ Car World Series.
outside EARL spotter mating call.
P
partner, the see broadcast partner.
Q
R
Real Racing, Real Sport descriptive of Champ Car World Series.
red hat included with free EARL tickets from Marlboro.
red hat brigade red hat-wearing fans in attendance at IRL events.
S
T
tenderloin gomer food of choice.
Three Amigos, The Kevin Kalkhoven, Paul Gentilozzi and Gerry Forsythe; acquired CART assets to continue Champ Car
racing as Open Wheel Racing Series.
traitor any owner, driver, team, sponsor or supplier who left CART / OWRS / Champ Car to participate in the EARL, especially those
who were once supporters of Champ Car or benefitted from being in Champ Car and now support the EARL.
U
V
vison FTG's plan for 'fixing' American open-wheel racing; constantly changed and revised.
W
wanker masturbater; i.e., crapwagon driver.
wrong currency what FTG brought to the CART bankruptcy hearing, in an attempt to purchase some of CART's assets
and effectively end the Champ Car World Series.
X
Y
yen Japanese currency.
¥RL IRL as defined by yen: the controlling currency of the moment.
Yoda Toyota; see FToyota.
Z
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Crappy Nicknames
Big thanks to everyone
who helped out with this!
Disclaimer
This is humor =)
